1.) Take care of your husbands. It is an Islamic duty. That means taking care of yourself if he is to care about you. I hear the bride is on a diet to fit into her dress but after the wedding she doesn't care what she eats, if she gets fat or what not. Well she should. More so after than before marriage. Your husband wouldn't want a second wife if you took care of yourself. I have no pity on this. Most women in Oman have help from other female family members and maids if they work and have children so you can't use your children as an excuse. In Islam, a duty to raise the children with Islamic values is first, but then a duty to pleasing one's husband comes in, else the family DOES fall apart. Yes, what is on the inside counts, and counts alot. In my Western country the women care only about the outer image and their husbands leave them for Asian girls that massage and cook for them. In Oman, the men look for second wives who take care of the outide image because their first wife doesn't. There is a BALANCE ladies. Inner beauty combined with an attempt at seeking your husband's attaention and pleasure at least4 times a week is going to keep him happy. Listen to him, be interested in him, be interesting to him. Husband is going to be jealous if your wear perfume for your female visitors and shave for a wedding party but not for him. It is the sunnah and an obligation on you to make an effort, serriously.
2.) High mahers, expensive weddings, and family tribe names. These things don't equal a happy marriage or a good man so WHY are they the things you are asking for or asking/letting your family seek out for you? I know, I know, disobeying your family even for a halal or sunnah thing in Oman is the same thing as being a whore (to some) and it is the same as if you did something really wicked, but be brave. For the sake of your country, and yourselves. Change comes with one person, than your cousin, than your sister, then your children, then your country. And really, the wedding is one day. Why not invest in your future life together, ie your home, your future children's education, even a vacation for your and your husband, instead of a white wedding and hotel ballroom reservation, and expensive (and TACKY LOOKING!) kosha? Sorry. I am just very opinionated in this.
3.) Second and third wives are halal. Don't ask for divorce over this unless your husband married in secret without telling you (total disrespect and not even HALAL in most scholarly opinions unless he was unable to tell you due to him being away on a caravan for years of something rather unlikely in the age of mobile phones but whatever), or he is obviously doing it because he never loved you in the first place but was too coward to say so. Remind him second wives in Islam are not just pretty young things though, but women in general need. WIDOWED DIVORCED WOMEN NO OTHER MEN WOULD MARRY WITH CHIDLREN TO SUPPORT OR ORPHANS WITH NO FAMILIES. Do not turn these women away. In Islam, they are to be cared for, by you, as well as your husband. Want for others what you want for yourselves.
4.) If you are a widowed of divorced woman, one of the reasons men don't want divorced or widowed women is because they are afraidf they won't add up to another man. Yes, true. So don't compare, ever. Just some advice.
Not, to the men, my brothers, my friends:
1.) You can't only complain about the women of Oman. What the hell are you doing out all night at the shisha bars or hanging with your friends when you have a wife and kids at home? Once in a while is fine, on a schedule, you go out twice during the week, and one or two weekends a month with the guys. The rest should be for your family. Your wife isn't just for sex and making babies and following kids around. You got to spend time with her. The kids are yours too and need time with their father. Nothing makes me disrespect you more.
2.) BE A MAN. You don't love your cousin that your family wants you to marry? DON'T MARRY HER IN THE FIRST PLACE! Islam says you can say no. It is your right. If you marry her, and then want to marry another girl because you don't love her but are afraid she won't be able to remarry if your divorce her (why were you so selfish and cowardly to do that in the first place to her) it is hard to pity you. You were a coward. Face up. Be brave in the first place. Don't put a girl in that position, ever.
3.) If you are going to marry another wife, try to consider how your wife will emotionally handle it. Do you both barely have enough money and time for eachother as is? Then you can't do it fairly can you, and then Islam forbids you.
4.) Also when it comes to marriage, if you had sex before marriage, don't marry a virgin, marry a woman of your like. I am serrious. The Qu'ran is pretty clear on that. The pure are for the pure.
5.) Unto the pure are for the pure and the good the good... Widowed and divorced woman in Islam are as good as a VIRGIN!!!! They are considered PURE. Yes, yes they ARE, no matter how screwed up culture is, one that says a man that sleeps around but that has never marrie dis better for him to marry a virgin than a good and pure divorced lady with taqwa, ya Allah!