Quote of the Day: Smiling like an idiot

OPNO: "I remember the first time we came here. You were just smiling like an idiot, and I was just talking, talking, talking."

MOP: "That's because I didn't understand a word you were saying. When I met you, I could barely speak English."

OPNO: "." [She hadn't realized because apparently she is too self-absorbed lol].

Quote of the day: "I don't like that the man keeps coming back here!" "Habibi, he's our waiter."

MOP [aka OPNO's Omani husband] is sitting with his arms crossed angrily and his brow furrowed. To OPNO in a low, suspicious murmur, says:

"I don't like that the man keeps on coming back here."

OPNO raises her eyebrows, casually sipping her ice water as if she hadn't a care in the world about this dangerous, perverted predator stalking the couple [and in MOP's mind, mainly with eyes for his Western wife]. To her husband, drily, as if bored, dismisses him offhand with:

"Habibi, he's our waiter."

-an endearing post about the jealousies of Omani husbands

The "Idiot" and the Administrator: Quote of the Day

MOP to OPNO last Wednesday: "There was an administrator coming to assess one of the schools' teachers and his car broke down, so he was running very late. He took it to every garage to fix it but no one knew what to do. This little local boy kept following the adminstrator around saying he could fix the car, and at first the administrator laughed, like, there is no chance, but the boy said, give me some water and this tool and five minutes. The administrator let the boy, who'd followed him around all morning, and to his surprise, in five minutes, the car was working again. It then occurred to the adminstrator, how lucky he was that this boy was around, since usually boys this age would be in school at that time of day, so he asked the boy, 'why aren't you in school today?' The boy said:

"There is some kind of administrator coming to our school today, so my teacher sent away all of the bad students."

The boy grinned to denote his status as one of the stupid ones, which clearly, he was not.

The administrator was rather pleased his car broke down that day and asked the boy "what is the name of your teacher?"

QUOTE OF THE DAY

From my husband the following classic:

My Omani Prince, aka MOP: "Sometimes, my English, it suck."

BTW, the picture on this post is random and had NOTHING to do with the quote of the day. I just like to post with pictures.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: it has to do with hand chopping & Muscat Confidential so it's a must-read

"...In Islam, we'd cut off his hand."

"In Oman, we make him retire with benefits, then hire him back on as a consultant."

Me and a friend (who happens to be the son of an Imam/religious scholar) were having a conversation around the time that the illustrious [not to all my friends though lol, I am the traitor yes] Muscat Confidential wrote this post http://muscatconfidential.blogspot.com/2010/08/oman-prosecutes-muscat-municipality.html.

From Muscat Confidential:

OK. I'm back. Pretty busy, but lets start off with a great story in Times of Oman (yes, really). Finally the well known story of the Muscat Municipality Finance guy who was busted forging cheques to himself has hit the papers.

I find it still a bit strange that Omani custom and defamation law means its not allowed to publicly name people after they have been found guilty of a crime (or in this case, admitted it). "It would bring shame on the family". Well, maybe it should? Perhaps if people knew that their father would be scorned at the mosque on Friday they would be less inclined to defraud the people of US$3.35 million? Or of committing any crime? Still, progress.

My friend and I were discussing Islam and culture, how Oman isn't an Islamic country and somehow this post came to my head, as we were talking about how a strong punishment is a good detrerrent for a crime, ie how chopping of the hand of a thief is a way to make less people steal. This was in the context of us talking about a crappy law in my country that made the death of a family member of mine by a drunk driver a no jail-time, no loss of lisence, and a measily 30 rial traffic fine. Which the drunk-manslaughterer bragged about.

My friend was like, harsher fines lik the 7000 rial average in Oman, would result in less drunk drivers. I agreed. But then I brought up up MC's Ministry of Manpower embezzlment story.

Omani friend laughed. We'll call him The Imam's Son. Thus I bring to you our quote of the day:

OPNO: "You know, in Islam, we'd cut off that guy's hand for stealing? And you and I are both cool with that. 3.35 million is something you can't steal without meaning to. It's not like he can say he's a klepto as a defense. Klepto's steal pens, and the office stapler, not 3.35 million. 3.35 million is a machine to save 100s of lives in a hospital. It is checking against abuse of illegal immigrants, less rapes, workers with visas. You can call me a beast, but I am a patriotic Muslim. In Islam, we'd cut off his hand."

The Imam's Son: [with a derisive laugh] "In Oman, we make him retire with benefits, then hire him back on as a consultant."

Quote of the day, via text message

Now, dear readers, do not be alarmed, the following was sent via text message, from a dear Omani friend (or two, or four, who ALL spell the same way):

from M to OPNO: I miss ur cocking.

from other M OPNO: What did you cock today?

from R to OPNO: what did u cock for ur frends?

Oh, oh dear lol. It seems it is THE common way to spell "cook" in Oman since more than 5 people have made the same error. Now dear Omani readers, this is as funny to English readers, as me saying I like to eat "cous cous" meaning the Moroccan dish, and "crackers" meaning the saltine Biscuits, to you.

Quote of the day, and ooooookay, so TOMORROW is Ramadan (probaby)

Last night I accomplished most of my Ramadaan chore goals unrelated to religious thinking. I even determined my Eid dress [silk Dhofari father-of-the-tail dress in yellow floral silk by Valentino with simple delicate beading and no over-embellishment] and plain burnt orange Dior silk sirwaal pants that match the floral pattern in the yellow dress [the flowers are purple and orange and blue] that I shall handbead with round crystals surrounded by small coral and turquoise seed beads. I like to sew. It is a fun hobby.

So tomorrow will be Ramadaan most likely. I am SOOOOOO excited. I will give you the following funny Ramadaan story, after complaining about some of the Saudi guys in her city and their funny attempts to hide the fact that they weren't fasting by running away from their fastfood in the malls.

MF [ruefully admits]: "I used to make my Christian girlfriend fast in the US."

OPNO: "." [OPNO wonders at MF trying to teach a girl he was dating about Islam]

MF [gives a sad embarrassed smile]: "...She'd be fasting... and I'd be sitting there smoking and eating."

OPNO: [laughs]. "Ohhhhhhh MF. Haraam." [Laughs out loud some more, but is happy MF acknowledges this sad mistake and aims for better.]

Quote of the Day: "For the ladies...''

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "If they spent what they spent on weddings..."

Actually this quote of the day is not terribly funny. If it had come from the other Omani guy I know also called "M"it would have been. As from him, it would have been sexist. But this is one of the most decent, thoughtful, and sweetest Omani guys you'll ever meet. So coming from him, it just kinda of rings as fitting.

M: "You know OPNO? If they [Omani women] spent what they spend on weddings on looking good everyday, their husbands wouldn't go out looking for second wives.''

OPNO: "Um, so you don't mind that I totally have not very much make-up on tonight?''

M: [lol's at my insecurity] "You have a child's face OPNO, pretty [grins] so better you don't wear makeup out hmmm. [Seeing my look of, don't be like K and start telling me what to do now to]. And of course you look more beautiful with makeup [he hurries] but.. I'm saying is, they sit in the house and do nothing and then their husband's see them as strangers off to a wedding dressed up for other women, and they come home and take off the pretty clothes and just don't care anymore. Like they are sick all the time. It is our stupid Omani culture [this from the world's proudest Omani]. Islam it says for husband and wife to dress and look nice for eachother. It IS good for the women [he grins...]''

OPNO; ''...In the long run.'' [I finish, knowing well the aversion of Omani women to second wives] [Besides, who in my mind, wouldn't want their husbands attention?].

Btw, before any crazy feminists out there get mad at me for agreeing with M, these aren't busy working women we are talking about. These are have children (but also a maid/nanny) and sit around a talk with other women and eat snacks ladies. I know the women he's talking about. They are my friends too. I love them, I respect their right to be spoiled as Islam says women have this right if they want to, but Islam also says one should try to care for their husband too if you are going to take the ''I don't even have to care for my own children or provide for myself or clean" route of your AMAZING rights in Islam. A husband has rights too, and I know alot of Omani guys use Islamic husband rights as an excuse for underhanded BS like taking SCERET (not of the sunnah and not Islamic) second wives but, it is the right of a husband to have a wife that takes care of herself and dresses up nice for him (and only him) once in a while. Like 3 or four days out of the week? Totally not alot to ask if you can manage it for weddings or your girlfriends and female family members.

I know, I know, M, lol. I am caught between both worlds, the Omani guys, and the Omani girls. It is funny sometimes the side that I take. I'll never forget the mistake I made when I called down the huge gold maher thing in front of all the female relatives with none of ya'll to back me. Hehehehehe. :D

Quote of the Day: "You have to spend your husband's money so he can't afford a second wife!"

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Spend ALL your husband's MONEY so he can't AFFORD A SECOND WIFE!!!"

On a shopping trip in Dubai. OPNO's friend (we'll call her J) who is married to local man is shopping with her local sister-in-laws. Women are spending money like mad. J though, is walking away from the mall empty-handed. The women interrogate her.

SILs (sister in laws): "Why are you not buying anything?"

J: "I don't need anything."

SILs [look at eachother and laugh. They aren't the kind of women that 'need anything' either. That isn't exactly the point.].

J [helplessly]: "I didn't see anything that I liked."

SIL #1 [shakes her head, as if to say, that is not the point]: "You have to spend all your husband's money..."

J [looks confused]: "."

SIL #2: "...so he can't afford to take another wife!" [The SILs grin together in an assured manner].

J [raises her eyebrows, knowing her BILs lifestyles maybe better than her SILs]: "I just try to be a good and loving wife. Seems to have worked for me."

[The SILs gather together like a flock of graceful black swans and plump partridges with a peacock's fan of shopping bags fanned out around them and just smile together over the shoulders at J knowingly, shaking their heads in patronizing manner at this sweet (but what they percieve as stupid) child.]

****When I related this narative to M he laughed so hard***

Quote of the Day

"Ya, it is vary Omani to ditch work to go down to Salalah for the Karif."

-Artist in Oman

Designer Socks & Fish Hooks

Once upon a time OPNO was fishing with her first real Omani friend and his cousin. We'll call Omani friend K. Cousin A.

The following is a real life conversation narrated from a willayat far far away (nigh Qurayat, so not far then, really). It illustrates the shopping habitats of two sub species of Omanis in their different habitats:D

A is fishing and hands K the fish they've hooked. Hook is jammed in poor fishie's mouth. OPNO wants to save fishy, but then, A & K will abandon OPNO in the middle of nowhere so she watches the arabic argument that pursues.

A works for a company. He wears nice dress socks, often designer. K usually wears 50 baiza plastic flip-flops and owns no socks that didn't come with his ROP uniform. Usually we use a piece of carboard to hold the (usually bloody) fish to get the hook out of its mouth. K decides to use A's designer socks instead.

A: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!! THOSE ARE EUROPEAN! AND COST EIGHT RIALS A PAIR!!!!!

K: [completely unfazed answers while blood and fish stench soak into the lovely sock] I can get you EIGHT PAIRS for THREE rial in Seeb.

[He means the Seeb Souq. Not exactly dealing in Gucci you know? But Chinese knock-offs]

A: [something rather rude in Arabic].

OPNO [to herself, cuz she is weird and talks to herself--not really, no one was listening because she didn't speak arabic then but that is for a different post--- and BTW, she isn't a name-brand snob, Prada was from a life far different than the one she preoccupies now]: Good thing we have a cooler. Hehehe. K might have stuffed my Prada handbag with ice. But then, LOL, he could have always GOT ME A NEW ONE FROM SEEB. LOL :XD

Quote of the day: Men really do buy love at first sight here in Oman

OPNO: "I am not a romantic you know? I don't believe in love at first sight. Men are really idiots [lol]. They do believe in that stuff here in the Gulf, like they want what they see in movies. If that were true, I would be the ONE for 20 different men. "

Y: "So what do you believe in then?"

OPNO: "I believe in love in the first three conversations and after 1 kiss though. Oh yeah, and one good argument. Can't leave that one off. I believe I am the one that screams 'I love you!' in the middle of a real good fight. If you can still like someone and be terribly angry with them at the same time I think that counts more than any love at first sight nonsense."

Y: "."

OPNO: "I blame my father. If my mother had raised me better, I would have married for money or in state void of ambition, in the very least, someone with good looks who was stupid enough to believe in love at first sight. Alas, he taught me common sense."

Y: "Blessing you are to mankind."

OPNO: :XD

Quote of the Day: I read like an Omani

Quote of the day: "I read like an Omani now. I accept that the same word can be spelt five different ways."