I don't hate people who have maids. I really don't. My SIL's do. My mother does. I grew up with what people in Oman call a houseboy. I just was the kid who hid all my dirty laundry from him because I didn't want other people to do my dirty work for me.
And I have never gotten over a group of girls [of my social strata one could snobbily say in the "local" UAE lingo] in the UAE talking about choosing a maid like buying an animal. "Make sure their nails are clipped" "never let them go out on their own or have a cell phone or wear make up or dress themselves". And get this, the poor non-muslim maid did not want to wear a headscarf.
Well, you know what, in Islam, unless she IS a Muslim, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the religion. You can make her, but you are an idiot to do so. Ask her. Present her with options. She is more likely to do so then, and know what, maybe even CONVERT if you treat this non-muslim entity in your employ with ALL her rights in YOUR religion. Duh. And besides focussing on the hair covering part (which denotes that you ARE a believing Muslim woman, obedient to God, not your employer or husband or any fashion whim), why not simply try for more modest clothing. Which to me is a great alternative, and if you let the maid have a say, you'll both be happy. I GUARANTEE you, your male relatives and inlaws are waaaaaaaaaaay more likely to check out her body shape than her hair, so if you're really worried about that, ask her to be respectful in THAT regard. Your religion might not MEAN anything to her. Hijab is hot and if you aren't doing it for God, don't bother. Try a breezy hat instead as a compromise maybe?
I once asked a maid why she didn't become a Muslim since she believes in Islam. Her answer: "I've worked for people who pray five times a day and are the most evil souls alive."
And you don't own a maid, even if you sponsored their visa. It is a job, just like anywhere else. Which means you can't yell at them, abuse them, tell them what to wear and where to go on the hours they are NOT working. And fulltime in Oman, DOES NOT mean, NEVER HAS A BREAK OR DAY OFF. It means so many hours a week, not to exceed such and such a time without compensation in extra salary.
"but if you spoil them they'll get lazy!"
Treating them like people ISN'T spoiling them. Letting them form their own lives and be a human being is not going to make them a crappy worker. I know. People in our employ ALWAYS went out of their way for myself and my family.
My SIL just tried to talk me into getting my husband to get me a maid. He already offered. I was like, "Don't I make the house nice?" He's like, "Beautiful Habiti." And I am like , "And don't you love my cooking [of course, when we don't dine out]?" He's like "mmmmm." So honestly, I don't really want another woman taking care of my children if I can make time for them, or serving my husband food or drinks, or washing his car, when those are thing HE CAN LOVE ME more for. I'd make an exception if I was a super important business woman/or dignatARY WHO HAD TO ENTERTAIN alot, and leave the home, so the children were alone for five hours at a time (I don't want kids if I have to leave them alone longer than THAT). But I am not. So. For now the answer is "NO".I don't need a housemaid.
I also don't need to hear from bored housewives (who do nothing for their children OR their house or their husband but SHOP) who want to complain about their maids. Serriously. One more complaint about a decent human being who works harder than you ever will, and I will kill myself, or pay your maid's salary to live in Philipines and take care of her OWN children and family.
Really. And I could afford it, so friends and relatives of mine, watch out.
OPNO is stubborn beyond reason, as you already know, and to make a point she does some pretty drastic things.
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